Cupid has boobs
by MaverickPenguin
Summary: Matsumoto has just returned from the human world and is determined to get the rest of soul society to follow a new concept she has learnt, much to the chagrin of her captain.      Sucky title is sucky T T    Bleach belongs to Tite kubo! Sucks I know :


**Chapter 1**

It was a fine day.

A canvas of vibrant blue suspended from the empyrean above. The soothing hum of the wind pulsated through the realms of the Seireitei. Hell butterflies encircled around the fields of chrysanthemums like adherent worshippers, while birds chimed in a mellifluous symphony. The orchestra of spring mellowed the ambience of the Seireitei, calm and serene. Nothing could disturb the blissful tranquillity; nothing would even dare to…

"MAAAATTSSUUUMOTOOO!"

Here we go.

The sky darkened, leaves precipitated, the light current of wind sharpened into spiteful gales, flocks of birds darted into the sky, an instantaneous heartbeat of chaos erupted while the peace which hoped to have an extended stay this time dissipated in a split second.

"Ehehehe…I'm guessing your meeting finished early taichou" chirped the caramel haired woman, while surreptitiously kicking the box of sake underneath the coach.

Her white haired captain stood before her, fumes emanating from his rigid body, trying to escape the conflagrations raging inside. Despite barely reaching 5 ft his spiritual energy towered above hers. His usual ice cold demeanour became displaced by raw fire when angered, and right now he was furious.

"You…didn't I make myself clear to you **not** to go around meddling in other people's businesses!" spat the white haired boy acerbically through grinded teeth, eyebrows furrowed to form deep corrugations of veins against his otherwise youthful skin.

"Probably…but you should know by now that I'm hardly the type to comply to anything if it ruins my fun taichou!" informed the buxom woman exultantly.

Hitsugaya Toshiro, captain of the 10th division and wielder of the most powerful ice element zanpakuto, Hyoruinmaru, questioned why he even put up this woman. His fukutaicho Rangiku Matsumoto, who to him spelled nothing but trouble.

"As your superior you should just accept what I say without any complaints idiot, now stop doing what you've been doing and get back to your REAL work before I take back what I said before!" growled the young captain.

She pouted and sulked off to her desk which was buried with masses of long overdue paperwork. "Meanie…all I was trying to do was help," she sighed to herself as she stared blankly at the perpetual ocean of paperwork before her.

FLASHBACK TO YESTERDAY

Just one more line and he would be free from all this incessant amount of paperwork. After recording the last details of his report (and after proof reading it 3 times over) he replaced the lid of the ink flask and set the brush down before letting out an exhausted sigh.

"Finally I can get some well-deserved rest," he yawned lethargically while cracking the bones in his arms and neck. He relaxed his body on his seat and folded his arms behind his head. He closed his eyes like heavy curtains, obscuring the hazy light streaming through the window. He enjoyed the silence and peace which became disregarded ever since being promoted to captain of the 10th company. _Ever since she became his fukutaicho – his eyebrows twitched just thinking about her._ He wished this peace would last a little longer this time; but of course that's not going to happen is it.

"Toshiro".

"What is it Hyoruinmaru?" murmured the boy already half asleep.

"She's here" replied the ice dragon spirit insouciantly.

"What are you talk-"

BAM. Something had penetrated his zone of peace. Something big and soft...

Dammit not now.

He promptly opened his eyes, the heavy curtains rising reluctantly. Too bad peace is such an ephemeral thing.

"Tut tut taichou you shouldn't be slacking off when it's only the middle of the day!" teased the owner of the big, soft somethings.

"MATSUMOTO!"

"Awww taichou I missed you!" rejoiced the exuberant woman while cradling him in an asphyxiating death glomp. He squirmed as she thrust him between her breasts, muffling the sounds of expletives rampaging out of his mouth. "You missed me too right my little captain!" she hummed rhetorically. He managed to crane his head out of her detrimental grip, straining as he breathed in lung full's of air.

"Like hell I would, now get off me this instant!" retorted the white haired captain before angrily pushing her away from him.

"Ehhhh – but wasn't it boring without me here!" exclaimed the voluptuous woman who clearly wasn't going to acquiesce to his zero body contact policy. She leant over and hugged him again so that this time his face was caressed against hers rather than ironed between her breasts.

"If you don't get off me this second I promise to arrange less missions and more paperwork duties for you from now on!" growled the fuming captain.

She immediately released him as if he had given her an electric shock, letting him adjust his collar and straighten himself. "At least with you gone I actually had space to breathe...literally," commented the young captain bluntly.

"Ehhh - if you say ungrateful stuff like that I won't give you your souvenir!"

He raised one eyebrow inquisitively. "Souvenir?"

"Uhuh, I picked it out juuusst for you," chimed his fukutaicho in her singsong voice.

He remembered the last time she brought him something from the human world. The paroxysms of laughter echoed in his mind.

"Keep it, I don't want it".

She pouted slightly and then regained her effervescent smile of glee. He sighed jadedly.

_Hell. She's only been gone for a week and she acts as if it's been 2 years. _

"So how was your visit to the human world then?" inquired the stoic Adonis while sifting through some paperwork. Her electric mint blue eyes widened as she clasped her hands against her cheek in a melodramatic manner.

"Oh my taichou, I thought you'd never ask!"

**Ah geez i don't like this :l**

**Don't expect an update any time soon from me. Exams have officially taken over my life. GAHHHHHHHHH.  
**


End file.
